Distance

I feel very unsatisfied and disconnected from everything. I am super close with my family, but I remember thinking when I was 12 that I was too close, and everyone was at a different point in their lives and I was from a different period I needed people my own age. Then I kinda separated from my family. Then we got super close close again. Mainly just my sister Mary Ellen. Now I feel very disconnected yet again. I feel so much younger. Just a totally different point of life than everyone else. They make me feel like I need to be married or have a life. I can't get a good grasp on time. And i feel like I need to step back from my family again. I also feel really isolated, but in the sense of just being caught in a world specific to only myself and my reality and I can't bring myself to fully connect with Ballroom, Stonybrook, drama, home and work friends anymore. I want to paint, and different things. I want to finish up all the slack on my year. Because its coming to a definitive yet cloudy end.

Keeps Gettin Better.

Through the Years We All Will Be Together if The Fates Allow.

So I was thinking back over the year of 2007 and I feel like SO much has happened!! Maybe because in January I remember thinking how I hadn't done enough yet, but I still had a whole year ahead of me. Or perhaps in direct comparison to 2006 how couldn't it be an eventful year. I decided, along with my dad, 2006 was the most extremely dull waste of a year ever. The most important events being what Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton did on the weekends (not that I don't care) it was just a sorry year. I feel 2007 really was long and held a lot of growth. personally I mean not globally. I love New Years :) I hope the years just keep getting better! :-D

Candy Man

So I just saw the new Christina Aguilera video, and I like it, but it kind of creeps me out they make her into every character lol. It reminds me of Willy Wonka (the on with Johnny Depp) and the Oompa Loompa plays everyone even the woman secretary. Its kinda creppy lol.... go watch it!

Acceptance

I want to get accepted to Binghamton.... and Geneseo, those were the only two schools I liked. I really wanna get accepted.

A Wonderful Life

My goal in life, is if i had the chance to see what life would be like if i had never been born, i would have affected as many people as GEorge Baily. Im a really self centered person, but i honestly wanna have an impact on other lives not for my own recognition, but soley for the other person, i feel like its the least i can do.. Id much rather give time and happiness to people than money anyway.... I really am fortunate, i feel like ive met so many good people, and so many people i love so early in my life. And although i dont think i love anyone i definately do. I love my dad, and ive been thinking i have no idea what i will ever do wiht out him. We were never close, ever. like we got in terrible fights and i was always angry with him until 9th grade i think it was a combination of me comming out and him being very sick. we both made an effort to be friends, and now honestly my dad is my best friend. My oldest sister is my other bestfriend, and as much as my brother is groos, were bestfriends too. Amanda Gong means more to me than antyhing, i really am so lucky to have met her, her Liz Craig, Amanda Friedman relaly had a lot to do with how ive grown and socialized. Liz and Gong really have been the best friends i could ever ask for. I dont mean to leave anyone out. I wish i could be with the people i love more. People who are so clsoe to me are so far.

Running, running, and Running running.

....I think I'm in love. For real, not for fake. It makes me smile, even when I'm thiking about how I can't be in love.... memories.

I Do Not Work For You...

My bus diver is such a PIMP!... he talks on his cell phone the WHOLE time and he keeps it on speaker since hes driver but i can hear it all and he tlkas to one woman after another. and is making plans wiht them and flirting with them and its just crazy.