Me!

Ive been reading threw live journals, and hearing how everyone is going out and having fun, doing things, together, at places! Juli is having a party at the BEACH! and i walk outside to the backyard and get the third degree from my mother and am told to come back inside. i sit at home go out every now and then, and when i do i see a movie or something, im not allowed to hang out at the mall! i cant ride in peoples cars! i cant do anything with out going threw like a 2 day screening from my mother, and once shes ok, ive spent so much time "discusing" my plans to hang out, and watch a movie i dont even want to go anymore! I have to sit here alone, and hear about all the exciting fun things everyone else is doing! and its not like that is any different form before, but now im hearing about people i REALLY like ALOT! and it would be easier to not have friends at all, and just enjoy sitting alone in the house, cuz trying to even see people is such an arduous process!, but i like them so much to TRY and do something!...... and what annoys me the MOST is when my brother goes out with his friends, and my om says "oh john! i wish you had friends! go hang out with your brother, i want you to do something with your days!" and when i want to! she has so many comments and opinions and processes.  that i cant! she is evil!:(